As a parent, you want to guide your children as best you can. You want your child to be able to avoid problems when you are by their sides. Therefore, you must give advice to children. But what is wrong with advice? Why cannot all the advice be accepted and carried out by children?

When your advice is not accepted by children, you are usually frustrated and confused, even angry. Maybe you think things like “I’m just trying to help! I just don’t want them to make mistakes”.

To understand the child’s reaction, first, try to position yourself as the person who accepts the advice. What if your partner gives the same advice? How do you feel? Angry, annoyed, arguing?

After reading this you may start to understand the feelings of a child who receives advice. Taking advice is difficult for children and adults. Taking advice even when it is positive can sometimes lead to an unpleasant delivery to the recipient, including the child. In addition, the child may also feel controlled. Lecture advice causes boredom and exhaustion to children as well.

So, the question that might come up right now is if giving advice does not work, what can I do as a parent to guide and teach my child? Here are five things the author has chosen for you to try to guide your child.

  1. Talking about Yourself

The best way to help children make good decisions is to talk about how you make decisions. Frequently, have discussions with your child. During the discussion, talk about how you try to do the right thing according to the actual actions you take.

When you have made a mistake in deciding, you can also talk about it to children. It will let them know that there is indeed a wrong choice. However, we can learn to avoid mistakes from existing experiences. One of them is through stories about your experiences as their parents.

  1. Answering Questions with Questions

There are times when your child may ask for advice. However, sometimes they already have their own answers when they come to you for advice. Therefore, you can return their questions back to themselves.

For example, in terms of dress. Maybe your child is asking “Should I wear this dress or just a shirt?”. You can again ask them “What do you want to wear?”. Help your child be courageous and think about making wise decisions on their own.

  1. Give Advice So It Can Be Heard

There are times when it is very difficult not to give advice or ideas to children when they are having a problem. During those times, you can give the advice you give in words that make your child want to listen to it.

You could try using a phrase like “Mom/ dad isn’t sure you’re going to agree with this …. but I think it’s really cold outside and the choice of a cam could be better to warm you up”. You could also try something like: “What do you think about father/ mother’s idea? You can do your homework now and then you won’t have to worry about it anymore. ”

  1. Be Patient and Avoid Saying “I told you before about it”

Parents want to protect children from problems by providing advice. When you have given them advice, they let it go and, in the end, they get into trouble for not listening, avoid words like “Mom / Dad have told you this before.”

When your child makes a mistake when you have told it, you return to remind gently to help children understand that they have made a mistake and help them return to the right choice. It is hard to refrain from scolding, but it’s best for the child.

  1. Ask for Children’s Opinions

In a quiet time and you do not have anything to teach the child, you can choose a time to talk with children about how they need advice when they are having problems.

You need to listen to their thoughts on this, especially for older children. It makes it easier for them to listen to you even more because they believe that you value their opinion.

The conclusion for you as parents is to remember that you need to show your love even when the child is making mistakes or choosing the wrong thing. We ourselves as adults find it difficult to accept advice, the same is true of our children.

May 10, 2021

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Check out other Versions of this Article!
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