It sounds difficult for us to raise children calmly. There are always reasons that make it difficult for you to control yourself to stay calm when dealing with your child’s behavior. Why do we sometimes find it difficult to control our emotions towards children?

One of the factors is because we ourselves allow our emotions to control us so that in the end we become angry and lose control. When we parenting children emotionally and even to the point of losing control, we let our children determine how we behave towards them, not the other way around.

When children make mistakes, the thing that often happens is we as parents react without thinking. We tend to think about controlling our children immediately by showing our emotions, rather than taking time to think. The best way to control ourselves is to understand what makes us angry and to recognize the signs when we are starting to lose control. This is an important skill parent should have.

Maybe right now you think it is difficult for you to do this because you are used to letting your emotions control the parenting patterns. Do not worry, this skill can be learned by all parents. There are several things you can do to train yourself to stay calm.

Make a Commitment

Make your commitment as parents to control emotions from now on. Pay attention to what makes you prone to anger. Maybe because your child ignores you? Your child doesn’t follow instructions properly? Or anything else?

Trying to control your emotions cannot be 100% successful right away. But you can practice it. The first thing you can do here is trying to stay calm and not react at all when feelings of anger towards children arise at that moment. Give yourself a moment to calm down.

Not Trying to Control Your Child

You and your child are two different things. Your child also has a life of their own. So, there will be times when you do not have to do the things your child needs to do individually. This is where children will learn to have responsibilities in life.

Eliminate the thought that you are fully responsible for what happened because you will prevent the child from developing and tend to be more stressed and anxious.

Preparing Self for Frequent Anxiety

Pay attention to what triggers your anxiety frequently and try to be prepared for it. You can start by asking yourself: “How am I going to handle this when I know my child will come screaming at me?” Prepare yourself now for the conflicts that you know are coming.

Guide yourself through thinking about how you want to see yourself as a parent, not by mere feelings.

Give Positive Words to Yourself

Try as much as possible to give positive words for yourself such as: “I will not react to my child’s behavior. I will step back. I will take a deep breath”. In this way, you are said to be able to control the sounds in your head resulting in calm, not anxiety.

Say something positive to yourself every time you feel your emotions rise. This can be anything from “Stop” or “Breathe” or “Slow down” to “Does that matter?” or “Is this important?” Experiment and use words that help you stay in control.

Another way you can do besides giving positive words for yourself is to think of a beautiful place that you like. It works for most people to feel relaxed. Visualizing the place will increase your ability to calm down.

Visualizing Positive Relationships with Children

Imagine the ideal relationship you would like to have with your child five or ten years from now. Ask yourself, “Will the way I respond to my child nowadays help me have the relationship I want with them? Will my response help me achieve my goals?”.

Keep an ideal picture of your relationship with your child in the future. Make the picture your goal of parenting.

The less we react to a child’s mistake, the better. The more we think about everything including doing the things above, the more positive the results. Good luck, dear parents!

May 10, 2021

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Check out other Versions of this Article!
There are at least 8 aspects that change in your life when you become a parent. Read this article for more information on those 8 changes.
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