“Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.” – Charles R. Swindoll


Children see their father and mother differently. Both are parents but have a different role in the heart of each child. Each has a different role because of the different ways of interacting between the father and mother. These different patterns of interaction will have different impacts on children.

Each interaction will help shape the character of the child to adulthood. Therefore, children need to feel these two figures in the family because both father and mother, have their respective duties and responsibilities in caring for children.

What is your role as father and mother in raising your children in the family so that they can grow and develop properly?

Father’s Role in the Family

We know that children always respect their mother, but in the family, it is the father who usually has an authoritarian figure. Being a father has a heavy responsibility to support the family.

Children tend to tell stories to their mothers, but they tend to talk more carefully to their fathers, and their tones are gentler.

There are various factors for this to happen. One of them is a physical factor. To a child, the father looks bigger (because in general, fathers are bigger than mothers). In addition, the voice of the father tends to be deeper than that of the mother.

Fathers also have different roles in the family, which are these three things below:

Family protector. The father figure as the head of the family must show a strong and courageous attitude for his family members, including children. This will make children feel protected and feel safe and comfortable in the family. Children who grow up feeling safe and protected are trained to be courageous.

Stimulate physical activity. As a man, fathers will teach their children to have lots of physical interactions. Many physical games are played by fathers and their children. This interaction will teach children to face the emotions of surprise, pleasure, or fear. The father’s emotions are more stable will help the child’s emotions more stable too.

Teaches independence. As the head of the family, the father also teaches children to be leaders. This will begin to teach children by training them to learn to take initiative and dare to do something themselves with the supervision of their father. For example, when the father is playing bicycle with his son. They tend to let children learn and let them fall until they can finally ride their bicycles independently. Compliments given by fathers to their children when they succeed in doing something will make children more motivated to be more willing to take risks and be independent.

Mother’s Role in the Family

In general, mothers tend to have an important role in parenting their children. Mother can recognize her child. For example, mothers tend to understand the baby’s needs better than the father, when they are hungry, sleepy, wants to play, etc. There is a strong emotional connection between mother and child that fathers do not have.

In addition, mothers tend to be closer and talk a lot with their children. It happens since women, in general, tend to be more verbal than men. This factor reinforces the word-of-mouth parenting for mothers. Mothers tend to express their expectations more clearly and to “talk” about issues involving discipline with their children.

Here are three roles of mothers in the family:

Gives a sense of security. Since being in the stomach, the child first recognizes the mother’s voice. The child is also more accustomed to the touch and smell of a mother’s body which gives them a sense of security and comfort. Children who get a sense of security from a mother tend to grow up to be mature and independent.

Mental & emotional stimulation. As the first person the child knows, a mother will teach the child to recognize emotions. Mothers often show their emotions, for example, it is easier to hug, kiss, scold, etc. From here, children can learn many ways to show their emotions.

Teaches discipline. Mother is also a figure who teaches children to have good behavior. Many rules that a mother usually introduces at home such as when eating, playing, and sleeping. All things have rules. Through the rules taught by the mother, children will learn to apply discipline in their life.

The different roles between father and mother in the family remind us that children should get the attention of both parents. It is because both father and mother have different roles in the child’s life. Good cooperation between father and mother will support the child to grow into a good person.

May 10, 2021

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