In a family, children need their parents, both mother, and father. They need the gentle, comforting parenting that most mothers bring to their family and need the challenging, real-world-based, educational patterns that most fathers seem to inherit.

The pattern of parenting between mothers and fathers is different. Therefore, how can we integrate them into a family to bring a positive impact for the children as they grow and prepare for the future? The key is to balance the different parenting styles to bring a positive impact on children’s future.

Mother’s Parenting

Mothers tend to find themselves generally in more nurturing roles. They appear to have an innate ability to differentiate from their children. For example, they often understand babies’ special needs better than fathers do. There is an emotional connection between mother and child that a father does not.

In addition, mothers tend to talk to their children more. Women are generally more verbal than men. This style tends to be conveyed in parenting where when she finds a problem, the mother offers more words of affirmation. The mother tends to express her expectations more clearly and to “talk” about issues that involve discipline.

Generally, mothers will also put the needs of their children and husbands ahead of their own needs. They make self-sacrifices in the family.

Father’s Parenting

Fathers generally focus more on the high expectations they want to share with their children and encourage them to meet those expectations consistently. Fathers tend to focus less on doing things that make children feel comfortable or safe. They challenge children more and help children prepare for the real world.

The emotional connection that a mother has does not happen to the father very often. Although fathers, unlike mothers, express them verbally, they tend to be more direct and use fewer words.

The attitude of fathers tends to show toughness, but it is their toughness that helps children prepare for real life. From a teacher’s point of view, fathers tend to give consequences first and then talk later. The sacrifices made by fathers tend to focus on the family as a whole and not on the individual child.

Combining Two Parenting Styles in Family

Children need both parenting from father and mother consistently. The question now is how to combine these styles into a holistic approach to being an effective parent.

Several negative things can run into a family if these parenting styles are not combined effectively, such as:

  • Children will be confused or conflicted with expectations that are different from mom and dad.
  • When parents appear very different, children may be more attracted to one parent or another because of their attraction to a particular parenting style.
  • When they are adults, conflict can lead to isolation or depression.

Finding the right balance between mother and father parenting is the key to success in growing children in the family. Therefore, balancing and blending require careful thought and action. There are several things you can do as a parent to do this.

Negotiation. Parents with different approaches need to find a comfortable place where both can accept the approach. Have open communication to discuss the differences so that you can work together, and compromise will help find the right mix.

Support each other in parenting. Children can learn quickly how to play one parent against another and create distance between Mom and Dad. Avoid showing disagreement with one parenting between partners in front of children. If one of you must let the other parent take the lead in a particular situation, let it happen and find time to talk about it.

Obey strict parents. When parents have different approaches, decide who the parent has a role to play in disciplining the child and which one should act more comfortably. The child will try to manipulate and go to the calmer parents first, but this can potentially damage parenting. Be a parent who demonstrates orderly structure and rules to eliminate children who want to manipulate the family.

Decide key values. If both parents want to teach and reinforce the same values, different parenting styles can work best. So, make a family mission statement seriously including the key values ​​you will live in the family. Then, you and your partner can unite on the things that matter and identify how best to embrace the values ​​in each situation.

Get help if it does not work. If you have frequent conflicts about parenting styles, consider discussing this with someone who is an expert in family matters or a trusted friend of yours who appears to be a successful parent.

You may also consider taking parenting classes that are offered in today’s digital world. This will help you cope better with your family problem.

Working together to combine parenting styles is time-consuming and can be a challenging job. However, a positive impact will be given to the child. When you try to be an effective parent, it will have a tremendous impact. Get to know your child, discuss different parenting between partners, and communicate together as parents of your child.

May 9, 2021

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