Parents are happy when they see their children happy. One of the things that are often used to show parents’ love for their children is by giving gifts.

Parents love to give gifts to children. For example, when they do something nice or when they finish a school quarter. But what happens if you give them too much?

According to Sean Grover in his book “When Kids Call The Shots”, indulging children is a common parenting mistake. Giving too many gifts can turn children into bullies.

The meaning of the word ‘bully’ here is that they will never be satisfied – no matter how much they have earned from you as a parent. Many parents who love to buy gifts regret their decision because their children tend to show behavioral problems. Before this happens, consider the two negative effects of over giving/ showing gifts:

Faktanya, anak-anak yang memiliki sedikit harta benda juga memiliki lebih sedikit masalah perilaku. Sebaliknya, mereka menunjukkan lebih banyak ketahanan dalam menghadapi rintangan daripada anak-anak dengan orang tua yang terlalu memanjakan dengan berbagai barang mewah dan lengkap.

1) Increase destructive behavior.

Children who receive frequent gifts have social and emotional problems tendencies. They make gifts a must. Indeed, getting a gift brings happiness. But this happiness from a gift is only temporary if it easily is obtained. It gives the effect that children are wanting to get more and more.

Children who only have few things tend to have fewer behavioral problems. On the other hand, they show better ability in controlling themselves when facing problems rather than children with which being showered with a lot of their wishes items.

2) Creating temporary happiness.

Giving too many gifts will make children less and less appreciate the items they want. When a child knows that they can freely ask things from their parents, they will easily ask for gifts.

When parents always give what do they want, it will make them have only short-term happiness effect after receiving a gift. “My parents will give me this item.” “I’m tired of this one, I want new stuff again.”. If you often show your love by giving gifts, these kinds of thinking might be created in your child’s mind.

Therefore, parents must be careful in giving gifts, especially gifts in form of objects. You can use gifts with a better approach which can motivate children. How?

  • Give a gift when the child has succeeded in doing something great consistently or when succeeded in something which needs a lot of effort. For example, have been able to wake up early for 10 consecutive days. Giving gifts at the right time like this will make your child motivated to do this continually and it becomes a good habit.
  • Reducing gifts in material forms. This can make them addicted to gifts when they want to achieve something. You can give gifts in other forms to motivate children, such as quality time or verbal compliments.
  • Choose gifts that children like. Also, try to give different types of gifts at every opportunity so that the child still has a high interest in the gift.
  • Giving praise and attention should be given with or without a material gift. Both things can make your relationship between parents and child closer and you can understand each other.

Gifts giving can be good and fun when we can place the role of gifts in motivating children to be better. From this all things, your presence as a parent is the greatest gift you can give to your child.

May 9, 2021

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